Tethered in Truth: Soul Friendships

I’ve been reflecting on what it means to have solid life companions — soulmates in the form of friends. Soul family is something I’ve longed for all my life.

I’ve struggled with finding connections that I deeply crave. I think many of us do, some willing to admit more than others. For those of us emerging from generational pain, who are committed to returning to ourselves, connection can feel both sacred and confusing. We’re often still gathering our scattered parts, still rewriting the stories we inherited.

Every person has needs shaped by the many inner parts they carry. What feels nourishing to one might feel overwhelming or even threatening to another. This alone makes human relating tender and often… difficult.

I really want to share my perspective on what I feel nourishing connections look like. If this resonates with you, I am glad. If not, that’s totally cool and I’m grateful you checked this out. As someone who is dedicated to living as authentically as possible, I’ve often hit a wall when I’ve moved forward with deepening friendships from my soul. People have described me as intense, honest, truth-telling, spontaneous, observant, and much more. Add a few flavors of neuro-spiciness, and the package I come in tends to stand out in the Western, urban wild.

I am proud to be who I am. But I also think who I am can be really confrontational for those who get by on life in ways that don’t challenge the soul to expand. I’m not criticizing or judging, just an observation I’ve had. If that is how people want to live life, so be it. That is amazing and absolutely perfect for them. (I also take responsibility if I am acting out of line and will own it — I’m learning just like everyone else). However, that’s not enough for me. I actually require challenge. I need to be pushed, forged, guided into the fire — because that’s where my Lotus Heart learns to bloom.

I am ok with facing my own demons and those that have been passed down my lineage. I see this as necessary work in order to bring levity and peace for myself and all those I am connected to. In fact, some of those demons tricked my family to believe we don’t deserve human connection. I’ve been fed those subliminal messages growing up, and it’s a pain in the butt to unwind these beliefs! I do this work so I can experience life fully and joyously. So I can say I lived the adventure — and arrived. To a place where my lineage and I can finally rest. Where peace can take root.

So how does someone like me find lasting friendships? I don’t know the answer yet. But I haven’t given up. For as long as I can remember, I’ve also looked deep into people’s souls. I have never been able to help it. (Most of the time, I pretend like it’s not happening as a form of “masking”.) I believe this is how I was created. I feel like people sense this (consciously or not), and it’s either welcomed (“I see you, Sis!”) or it’s met with anxiety and uncertainty when in proximity to each other. I call this gift the “Sacred Gaze”. You can be born with it, or you refine it over time. It’s the ability to see beyond the veils and masks people wear. To see someone just as they are. It’s a gift that makes true compassion possible — because it sees beneath the performance created for survival and protection.

Seeing with Sacred Gaze can feel lonely. It tunes your nervous system to subtleties — energy shifts, micro-expressions, emotional ripples. And when others don’t meet you with that same presence, it can feel… echoey. Like loving into a void. For the record, I’m not saying that viewing through the world like this is the ultimate way or right way, it’s just one way of being. Every one is so special.

In my life, it often plays out like this: I get along with most folks on the surface and even have the most fun, engaging conversations. But when I move to deepen the connection, I notice a pattern — many people aren’t practiced in consistency, follow-up or keeping their word. And that hurts. Because my inner child just craves steadiness. Wants to feel safe through rhythm, return and reciprocity. Now add Sacred Gaze to that — seeing people clearly while still not being met clearly? It’s a lot.

So I’ve been turning inward, tending my roots and needs. Right now, I’m in a season of deep re-parenting through my Inner Mother and Inner Father. I’m both holding tender, loving space for myself and being the sacred container to hold it all.

I long for friendships with people who can do that for themselves, too. I’ve recently realized: being a friend who only offers emotional support isn’t enough. I want to be met as a peer, not just a cheerleader. I need to be met — heart to heart, soul to soul, as a mirror walking that path too. I want to know that when I’m going through a hard time — or spiraling — there’s someone who won’t get lost with me by sitting in the emotion with me. A friend who stays grounded and says, “Ok, what are you doing to feel safe?” To anchor the moment in reality. To gently call me back because they also do that for themselves.

I still believe in sacred friendship. The non-flinching, non-avoidant kind. Where we show up messy, trying our best while holding integrity — and choose to stay connected. I don’t have all the answers, but I know the kind of seeds I’m planting. If you are doing the same — learning to love yourself deeper than yesterday, showing up with clarity, and meeting yourself and others with clarity, then just know we’re walking parallel paths. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll recognize each other by the way we return to ourselves. Again and again.

Much love and may you always be blessed and know you are never alone. 💗